But just as it is important to be ready for negative things and prepared to encounter them. It is also extremely important to be proactive and even more ready to the the things the Lord has called you. This is why this temptation has fallen upon you in the first place to distract you from what you were made to do… Have a relationship with your Creator, your God.

Ephesians 2: 1-10
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I am starting to see I should approach each project the same and really think out the time and worst case scenarios before I make a commitment. I could end up eating a lot of hours as I have on a recent project. There is a difference between being competitive and just plain out cheap and quoting a low price in order to get the job. We will definitely learn our lessons on these types of commitments and the importance of considering what we are going to have to sacrifice.

This makes me think of a verse that has to do with really thinking about the price of be a Christ Follower.

Luke 14:28-30
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’”

Jesus is sharing that people will have to pay a great price in order to follow him and it’s not going to be “fair” but it will be worth it. The sacrifice is not doing what you want to do any more, but dying to yourself and really surrendering your will to God.

A lot of times as a Christ follower we want the heaven and blessing part but are not willing to suffer the persecution nor are we willing to surrender our will to God’s will. It is important to consider and think about the price and the reward. Some may feel discouraged at first but if you think deeper the reward of Jesus is more than worth it. True followers take the persecution and will surrendering part but it is only by His spirit that we are able to stand firm and reap the benefits.

These were pretty intense to consume all at once so I switched to mountain dew and eventually diet mountain dew in order to not consume as many calories drinking several of these a day. (I know to some of you this may not seem like much at all but it is the beginning of something bigger.) I am not consuming crazy amounts of caffeine daily but I am noticing how my body is becoming dependent upon it and just like any other drug that can affect the body it has severe affects.

I don’t think people realize how serious it is and they take it lightly because it is socially acceptable to consume large amounts of caffeine especially if you are a working person. I wanted to research addictions and I found this page which was helpful. I do not feel I am at a point where I have become solely dependent upon caffeine but I see my habits leading me down that road and not towards Christ.

It’s clear that I have been becoming dependent on flesh and a substance rather than dependent on God and only he can rescue me from such things so that I might be dependent upon him instead where I will not feel like I have to overwork myself and carry heavy loads.

Galatians 5:24-25 – And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Caffeine Addiction Site

This is a video fom the site above this guy is very serious and he didn’t really realize it until he sat down and reflected.

Watch a video on caffeine addiction

So I have been learning more about who I am, my Identity. I am learning that I am not the bad things that people may think or say about me nor am I good things that people say or think about me. I may display those qualities from time to time but in no way does that limit or define me to only those qualities. I have knew this for a while but I am starting to have a better grasp on it. For example if someone says “you are a mean person”, that is not who you are but you may be tempted to think “am I a mean person? ” or if enough people say it in your life time you may be tempted to think and eventually agree that “you are a mean person.” Then there is the other side when we hear nice thing from people about our selves. Wow you are a nice person, or you are really artsy or some compliment upon your abilities. All of sudden we start trying to do more of what we got the compliment on and slowly we let this compliment define us.

Let say one day you stop being artsy or you don’t feel like being nice or that ability everyone has been complimenting you on is absent and you can’t do what you used to be able to do… where has your identity gone? It is no where to be found. My friend Clarence spoke about this the other day and I agree with him that my identity can’t be wrapped up in what I can accomplish or what I can not accomplish because at some point I will not have an Identity if these temporary little things are all that is defining me.

So where do I find my Identity? I go to the one who created me. My Identity is not my feelings and emotions, thoughts and mind, or personality which are a part of my soul . God already tells me who I am in his word. He lets me know the truth about me, that when all these things that I thought I was are gone there is a me that is even deeper a me that He knows, a me that was dead but he brought back to life. My spirit, the core of me who he created originally. It’s important to figure out who you really are and not let yourself get defined by the good and bad things in this world, but instead by the one who has already defined you

I realized for a while now that I have been very comfortable but in a bad way. I like where I am, not really seeing any problems here or there and like the Pink Floyd song says “I am comfortably NUMB”. But this isn’t good because I want to live a life that is fresh daily…not stale, stagnant, and moldy. What caused me to get in this condition as I searched It was revealed to me that I have been letting my desires rule me in a sense. If I feel like it I do it… and If I don’t feel like it and I have to do it then I have a very poor attitude.

I started trying to exercise a while ago to address some of the consequences of my condition, comfort. It did not work because I was modifying my behavior not my belief and perspective… and that belief is that if something is not horrible then why is there need for improvement.

What really was being attacked was my personal relationship with God, Jesus. I felt like I was alright and that there was no need for growth and so I had become stagnant and absent of any zeal or enthusiasm for the relationship and life in general. I had/have a desire to increase Our relationship but it was being drowned out by my other desires.

So I have decided to go on a journey, one that I have not been on before one which the sole purpose is to seek God. Not that he will meet me because of my efforts but I will be denying a majority of my desires because I am serious and it is not something I am entering into lightly at all. the purpose of going on this journey is to be transformed, changed, a new person, a deeper relationship… though I know this doesn’t happen by my efforts… it is something I desire the utmost. Now that I have off of school I don’t have an excuse and I wont let myself take an excuse not to go.

I have been comfortable way to long and to any one who has gotten comfortable in a worldly way, it’s time to get uncomfortable in order to grow.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. (hebrew 12: 7-10)

here is a direct quote about Daniel… “They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. Finally these men said, “We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God.”

Obviously I am not like Daniel.. and my peers aren’t jealous and trying to bring charges against me… but my point is he was beyond reproach (they couldn’t find anything to accuse him of), he was trustworthy (He said he would do something and he did it which helped him develop this rep), He had integrity (he was neither corrupt or negligent) and Most of all he Trusted God! The man had Integrity and it began with God. He was promoted and had high ranking and that was because of God too!

When people look at me I’m confident they are seeing a very distorted version of whom I claim to be and what I claim to believe. When I take a look at my words, actions, and motives my conscience confirms what or who I am living for, what’s really in my heart. Lord fill me with your Spirit, Love, and Truth.

Many times I find myself sharing about web-design or giving advice on things that I am passionate about or have mini passions about like mac books or drinking coffee black or some pet peeves ; I can be pretty zealous when I talk about them too. I was cut to the core when I realized that I am an evangelist… for myself… for the web… for things thats could be gone tomorrow. Here I am selling all of these things to people, mini passions daily, and they are definitely buying it. So the type of evangelism you do shows where your heart is or isn’t. passion…

Galatians 5:22-26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. NEW PASSION…

This hits me between the eyes..!CONVICTION!. If you could invert this passage I feel like I have been doing that. I’m very thankful I have a Father who cares and treasures my relationship with Him and he has made it possible for me to come back. thanks God, thanks Jesus, Thanks Holy Spirit. NEW PASSION..